Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Whatever you do, don't buy a cream Mercedes

Cream Mercedes-Benz are the standard Berlin taxi. Honestly. The way we have black cabs in London is the way the Berliners (jam doughnuts for an unforunate translation) roll with their cream Mercs. And it's not an attractive cream either, not an eggshell or ivory, but a dirty cream, very DDR goverment issue weizenenmiel (that's flour to you English speakers). anyway, don't get a cream merc unless you want to look like cab driver from Berlin.

So it's been a week in Berlin. So far i love it, but it's a scary kind of city. I don't know if it's just my area or in fact, just East Berlin, but it's the way i imagine some sort of post apocalyptic world to be, one where all the humans that remain live in huge squats with flags over the windows and loud electronic music reverberating through the walls and have millions of dogs and tattoos. In Friederichshain there is literally a tattoo parlour on every block. I am not exaggerating. Having said that, it's an odd mix because I live in really nice block with carpets on the stairs and young families with mothers wearing clothes that look like they were bought from Shoon and i won't lie to you, I've spied some vegan footwear. Directly next to my apartment block is a baby wear store stocking some pretty cute tiny clothes and next to that is a graffitti store, that sells skate shoes, RUN DMC shirts and more cans of spray paint in every imaginable colour than i have ever seen. So berlin is nothing if not a city of contradictions.

Two things that we have here in abundance: dogs and children. Millions of dogs and children. I sometimes feel a bit awkward walking around without one or the other, as seems to be customary on the streets here. I go out so boldly with nothing more than a bag when clearly the fashion accessory of choice is one that breathes. Oh Berlin. You astound me. (a side note, how paris is known as the City of Dog Shit and Berlin has managed to pass under the radar and not take over that title is mind boggling. Berlin kicks Paris's clean street ass dogshit wise. It's a freaking minefield out there.) I find myself giggling often as I walk past the city's million or so dogs. I always think of Brad Pitt in Snatch, 'D'ya like DAGS?'

And children. My word. So many children. And they all seem to ride bikes. Honestly, two year olds dodging the dog shit on their trikes. For the most part the children are unbearably stylish. Today i actually caught myself being actively jealous of a baby's flat cap. The kid couldn't even sit up by himself in his pram but he was rocking a tweed flat cap with such style it hurt to look directly at it. I've actually seen loads of babies in flat caps. Parents, where do you buy these things?! Who makes them?! The most stylish person i saw today was a six year old boy. he was wearing jeans, blue plimsolls, a white t-shirt and a red and white neck scarf. (!!!) His mother (guilty of a vegan footwear crime) couldn't have been less stylish, which leads me to believe that the tike dressed himself in that awesome get up. If I ever have children, i'm coming to berlin to have them. Because every child deserves to grow up looking that cool.

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